Afraid To Open Up
by TeamRocketUmbreon
Summary: While the guys are out, Jen and Katie have a little heart-to-heart, and Jen reveals that she likes Wes.


Afraid To Open Up  
  
I'm the team leader.  
  
Why me?  
  
Because I'm always in control, I never let my feelings out.  
  
No wonder they think I'm "all business".  
  
If they only knew.  
  
Before Alex "died", I wasn't like this. Alex's death changed me in a way. I was in love with him then.   
  
I say "then" because I'm not now. Maybe I would have loved him if I hadn't met Wes. But I did. You have to make your own destiny. I remember Wes saying that once.  
  
I have feelings too. Sure, they pal around with me, and we laugh together.   
  
But Wes is the only one who really knows me.   
  
We usually sit on the clock tower balcony together most evenings, and just talk.   
  
I can tell him everything. Except how I feel about him.   
  
Why?  
  
Because I never open up to anyone. Except him. So why can't I tell him? Am I afraid? The fearless Jen, who's not afraid of anything, is afraid of a lower officer?  
  
Definitly. But I will tell him someday.  
  
Really.  
  
It's kind of strange. I mean, the guy from the past, my past at least. And the girl from the future. His future. My present. My past. His present. How is this gonna work?  
  
I can hear them calling me.   
  
"Jen! Jen, where are you?" It's Katie.  
  
Don't get me wrong, I like being a time force member, and I love my friends, but sometimes I just feel like everyone thinks I'm so…so controlled.   
  
Katie comes up to me, hangs out of the window.  
  
"Why do ya always sit there alone, Jen?"  
  
I shrug. "So…what're we doing now?"  
  
"I think Trip and Wes went out to get some weird western movie to watch, and Lucas is out on a job, so it's just us girls."  
  
I manage a smile. "Now I can finally get some work done."   
  
Katie raised her eyebrows. "It seems like that's all you do around here."  
  
I could have swallowed my tounge. Why do I always say the wrong things? The last thing I want to do is do more work…  
  
"Umm..Just kidding. Whaddya wanna do?"  
  
She looks at me for a second. "Jen, are you ok? You seem, I don't know…cut off from us sometimes."  
  
I look at her. Maybe if I tell someone, it will give me the courage to tell him.   
  
"I'm in love with Wes."  
  
It sounds so strange to hear me say it straight out.  
  
Katie starts laughing.   
  
"Hey! It's not funny!"  
  
"You think I didn't know that? Geez Jen, how could I not notice?"  
  
"Is it that obvious?"  
  
"Well, to me it is. Wes is so blind it doesn't matter what you do."  
  
"Does that mean he doesn't like me?"  
  
Katie breaks into gales of laughter again, and it's some time before she goes on.   
  
"You are so blind! He's in love with you, girl! Hellooooo?"  
  
"Really?"  
  
Katie smirks. "You'll have to find that for yourself. Ask him when he gets home." She gives me an evil grin and goes downstairs.  
  
See why these people annoy me?  
  
But really, is she telling the truth? It's hard to tell.  
  
I believed for so long that I was just another girl to him, that the idea that he loves me back is really weird.  
  
I will ask him when he gets back. Really.  
  
I hear the car door slam and he comes in. The whole world seems to tilt and my heart is beating so fast.  
  
"Hi Jen! How's it going?"  
  
"Umm… Uh…Could I talk to you about something?" I stutter.  
  
He smiles. "Sure. What's up?"  
  
"In private." I say pointedly, looking at Trip and Katie, who are staring at us with interest.  
  
We walk up to the balcony of the tower, where we always sit.  
  
"Is this what you were trying to tell me before, at the Super Strength Gym?" He asks.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
How to say it?   
  
Oh god.  
  
Here goes.  
  
"Wes?"  
  
"Yeah?" He says so tenderly, that I feel stronger.  
  
"Um..I..Um…I…you see… Uh…"  
  
"Spit it out, Jen!"   
  
I see Katie clap a hand over her mouth. She and Trip were hiding, spying on us.  
  
"You rat!" I shriek, but start to laugh. I feel relived, but somehow sad.   
  
Missed my chance. Again.  
  
Will I ever open up to him? 


End file.
